How do I get over a break up it's been over a year now.
I met this guy on facebook around June 2014 who is based in Germany. We got talking and close but I didn't fancy online date so we kept it low untill he got back in December 2014 and our love story began. He love was so in love with me that he always wanted me around and wanted to see my parents . As time passed both families knew about the affair and he was eager to get married as soon as possible but I told him we chill and take things slow at least untill I was through with my education.
Because at that time I was in my final year in unilorin. Meanwhile he was married to a German woman and had two kids with her (boy&girl) but they were legally divorced long before we meet and he came back that December with the daughter but I didn't mind Bcos he had told me when We meet and I was deeply in love with him. We went on occasions together even with the daughter, we were every where in that Christmas, Infact the Xmas was just complete with him. Months past and everything was perfect. Months past and everything was good with us then finally he had to go back to Germany and I had to return back to school to defend my project. The day he was leaving I cried my eyes out at the airport it got to a point he started crying too I felt something cold inside of me and it's felt like it was the last time I would see him but he made me a promise never to leave me. He swore with his life that he would never leave me. He got back to Germany and things were still cool with us we talk nothing less than 4times daily, we pray together every morning and night on the phone, we talk and video chat that the distance didn't mean anything. We talked about the future together, how many kids we wanted, how I would join him in Germany as soon as am done with school and marriage rites done, the love was perfect and I made up my mind that I will wait for this guy and I would be faithful to him and I kept to my word to theto the extent that my sis has to talk to me about it, she advised me not to hope so much on him and I shouldn't shut guys out or deny dates but I didn't listen to her I was too in love to listen. Months went by and things were just perfect and while he was away I was in contact with his family. I visited his eldest sis on one occasion and we spoke alot about her brother plans and intentions towards me and that she gives her support and all.
Then gradually things changed from talking 4times.4times daily to once in 2days to finally to weekends only. I knew something was wrong I felt it I kept asking him but he claimed to be busy and works more than 8hrs than he used to. This was a man that would never leave for work in the morning without having a prayer on the phone with me. Everything changed I couldn't do much but pray for him. One evening he called me saying we need to talk I knew something was wrong I called him back he didn't pick up, I waited for his message till I slept off only to wake up the next morning to see his WhatsApp message. August 25 2015 it's a date I would never forget in a hurry. He sent me a message saying how good I'm, how his life had change positively since he meet me, how I made him spend less and save more, how good I could get all naughty for him and still a prayer Warrior etc but then he can't go on with me bcos he is reuniting with his baby mama for the sake of their kids. I cried my eyes out, for 8months I was a loner, I was depressed.
to the extent that I had failed suicide attempts. I know lots people might insult me for this but I pray may we never get to that level of depression. Every guy around me irritated me. No one understood wat I was going through. It took 3months before I told my parents about it cos Dey kept asking about him, cos this was a guy that insist he must talk to my parents every weekends. My elder sis knew about everything, she kept consoling me and telling me I didn't lose but rather he lost a jewel.
Her kind words pulled me through the day but at night I was drowning in pains. At this time i had graduated from skol and awaiting youth service. Finally my call up letter came and I was in camp, but camp was dead to me, I cried my eyes.Sleep and a times till the camp soldiers chases us out of the hotel for parade . Depression came at its highest peak wen I saw a pic of him in December 2015 having an introduction to a naija girl. I felt alone, and a times I asked my self if I wasn't good enough, some times I questioned God why he let bad things happen to good people. While I was serving I meet this guy and we started dating I knew he liked me but my mind was still with my ex and all this while I kept praying he would come back and apologize for everything at a point I had to let this guy go cos I knew I was torturing him while he tried so hard to make me love him. January 3rd 2017 he had his white and court wedding wen I saw the pic it sent me to the sick bed for 3days. My elder sis and her hubby went for their court wedding in Awka Anambra state and she meet him with his wife and she said with the look of things he was taking her back with him. I felt so bitter, this was the future weplanned together that's unfolding with another person, everything we had planned together is happening without me in the picture except for the fact that he wanted a talk of the town wedding and I wanted something small and for the very first time since he sent me that message I had the courage to send him a message on Facebook expressing how bitter I feel.
He replied back apologizing and begging me to forgive him that his mother gave him a choice to choose between I and her that up till now he planned together that's unfolding with another person, everything we had planned together is happening without me in the picture except for the fact that he wanted a talk of the town wedding and I wanted something small and for the very first time since he sent me that message I had the courage to send him a message on Facebook expressing how bitter I feel. He replied back apologizing and begging me to forgive him that his mother gave him a choice to choose between I and her that up till now hestill can't forget me. He asked for my number and I gave him he still called and apologizing but then the deed is done. How do I move on from here? How do I forget him.? My sis knew I was still pained then she bought me Toke Makinwa's book "unbecoming" that maybe I would feel better. I did feel better and ever since I read the book I felt better but the pain is still there. While I read that book I felt connected to the book bcos I was going through pains as well even though our stories aredifferent.. But how do I forget this guy? After reading that book I tried severally times to contact Toke Makinwa and various relationship bloggers I know that maybe I can get help on how to pull through this but I didn't get any response from them. My sis told me its getting to me this much bcos of my zodiac sign "cancer" I had to read about it and Cancerian's are way too emotional but I can't let this define me and it's really getting to me this much cos I finished my youth service last November and still looking for a job.. Pls I need help.. How do I forget this guy I have been suffering from insomnia for the past one year as a result of this.. Pls help.
By Derek
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